My Biggest Support

I wish I could give you all these great support groups and 

names of Dr.'s, therapist, friends and what not, 

but I can't even if I wanted to.

The only support group I used at the time when

I was at the worst was a group called N.A.M.I.

It's a group for All mental illnesses,

and though I'm sure they are helpful. For me

I left those meetings feeling more alone 

and scared than ever before.

I wish I had had the Internet back than

though actually at that time

I would have been too overwhelmed with

everything to be able to get on

and find the support groups and info. available

Even though I felt unworthy most of the time when 

I am struggling with my depression and my dark thoughts

my biggest support was/is my Savior Jesus Christ.

I still don't know how He did it.

Atoned for my pains, weaknesses, and sorrows,

but I don't have to know that.

I know however that He was there.

Those days and nights when I felt so incredibly alone.

When no one understood.

He did.

The days when I was at my worst,

He was there by my side, holding my hand helping me to

get out of that 'dangerous' place.

Sometimes I didn't even see that He was there,

but when I look back I've realized.

Trying my best to keep my Savior close

was what kept me alive,

what kept my boys safe.

Was my light in the horrible thick

emptiness and misery.

I am grateful that I am now looking into

support groups, Dr's, therapist all of that, before possibly trying again.

This time, if there is a this time

I will have a safety net. A Huge safety net!

The first one and the greatest of all will again be the Savior.

I know that I will NEED Him.

I NEED Him for everything.