Been Inspired

A few weeks ago Jake and I started talking about possibly having a child. We both want to so badly. (I'll get back to this at a later time.)

I admit I'm terrified of a repeat of PPD/A Psychosis.

I barely made it out alive last time.

Since that night, each day I have been spending hours of free time doing research about the possibilities of preventing a repeat. In doing all this research I began to happen upon dozens and dozens of blogs by courageous woman being willing to tell their story about PPD/A.

As I read their stories it brought tears, many tears. I finally felt that too some degree I have found some woman who can relate to what I have gone through. The guilt, tears, numbness, the inability to bond with their child, etc. etc. It was all there, and it gave me a chance to heal a little bit more. Though I've read dozens of heart wrenching stories none of them seemed to match my own intensity and I felt alone once again.

So I have decided to begin this blog and open up about the horrors of the psychotic part of PPD that I've seemed to miss so far in my research. If there are other woman out there trying to find support and hope from something so bleak and terrifying. I hope that they will find this blog and see that they are not alone. This is awful diseases. Seemingly unbearable, but there is a light that comes through the thick dark clouds. It doesn't last forever. I doubt I will ever be the same. My 'normal' now is much different than my 'norm' before getting sick, but I have found beauty in the little things once again.

As I open my heart, mind, and memories I hope that you will be kind.