After a LONG, UGLY Week

After the tramatic week with my family.

I have needed time to recoop.

Yesterday Jake and I went to his parents for a yummy random turkey dinner. We ate and played a few games. Jake and I even went out on the tramp and watched the clouds for a few minutes drinking in the sun.

Today I took a napwith the window open. (Usually I don't like taking naps because I can't seem come night and I always seem to have bad dreams) but today it was just refreshing. I needed it.

I talked to my older brother today. He was kind and gave words of wisdom. I expected nothing less from him. He's amazing! That's why we call him 'John the Beloved' in our family. It brought more tears as we talked about the UGLY things said and done that happened last week. It is frustrating that this can't be a happy time for us. Especially for Jake and his family because they had nothing to do with my past and the UGLINESS that showed it's face this week. I am grateful for my brother. Living so far away and still taking the time to show he loves me, is nervous to support me in this, but being kind about it.

Gives me a little hope that in time, maybe just maybe things with my family will calm down again.

Maybe.

Until then I am choosing to take care of myself right now. I can't let their negative, hurtful input drag me down.

So I will continue to cry and mourn the loss of my sister, and the support of my other siblings.

I will also take time to treat myself to 'me time' like taking a nap once in awhile.

I will continue to research and prepare for this new adventure and challenge of having a child with my wonderful supportive spouse.

When I do get pregnant I am determined to make it special for Jake and I. This will be something to celebrate. Yes we need to prepare for the worst, but we will definitely be hoping for the best.