Update: 28 weeks

Today I am officially 28 weeks.

It's seems crazy to think I only have another 12 weeks to prepare to meet baby girl.

I have been working hard to get through some of my fears. In my research and preparation I learned about Hypnobirthing. The more I have read about it the more I am loving it. Through meditation and relaxation I am learning to let go of the fears created from the past and move forward with peace and calm. Not to say that I still don't have doubts and fears that I am working on, but it's nice to have something to work on and practice that gives me a sense of control in myself and the day of birth for my baby girl.

My goal is to have a natural birth/post birth experience, but I have accepted that if medication or other methods are needed to secure mine and my babies safety then I will take that route without doubting my abilities to be a good mother to my child.

I am now to the point were I meet with my midwife twice a month now. I am meeting with a therapist as well. Which has only help build my confidence in my abilities to have a positive experience, while at the same time, be aware of any changes that might occur in my body and mind. I feel my relationship with my therapist is at a place now where she will be able to help me recognize if there steps that need to be met.

There is much to do in the next 3 months. I am grateful I have this time to practice and prepare for baby girl, but I am so looking forward to holding baby girl in my arms and knowing that she is mine.

I have much to be grateful for, and a chance to be a mother again is one of my greatest blessings of all. Regardless of what may come in the future I know the Lord knows and loves me. That He knows and loves this baby and that He is forever on our side and as we continue to turn to Him we wont lose.